• Andrea Kohlmeyer

Changing Thoughts of Envy

This was from my devotion for today in the Bible App from the Relational Reset: Unlearning the Habits that Hold You Back by Dr. Laurel Shaler:

"Oftentimes, we believe that an event triggers a feeling, but the reality is that what we think about the event leads to the feeling. For example, if another couple in our circle of friends had a baby while my husband and I continued to wait years to adopt, I might have felt jealous of them. But, there is a missing component in that sentence. Something happens between the event of a couple having a baby and my feeling of envy—my thoughts. In this case, I might think, Why does this couple who have barely been married a minute get to have children while my husband of fourteen years and I continue to wait? If I change my thoughts, I can change my feeling. A replacement thought might be, I am thankful that this couple does not have to experience what we have been through. I am thankful they gave birth to a healthy baby. I am thankful they are a godly couple who will raise their child in a Christian home. Plus, I bet I’ll get some baby snuggles! When I change my thinking, my jealousy eases and I can celebrate with these new parents. When we replace a jealous, harmful thought with a realistic, helpful thought, we feel better and our relationships are less likely to suffer."

I wish I had this mindset the first time going through infertility and treatments but I sure didn't. Envy controlled my life as I pleaded with God to let us just have one baby to love. One day I did finally surrender our infertility journey to God, where I allowed him to enter my heart and change my thoughts. But this choice was and still is a daily choice. Not only with dealing with infertility but now that we are pregnant, I have to choose to trust in Him that he will take care of this baby and our family. This can devotion can be used for so many situations in life where envy controls our minds and hearts.

Love and baby blessings❤️

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