God's Punishment....or Reward
I am in week 4 of 6 in an incredible study, "In the Wait" by Courtney Anderson, Courtney Frasier, Holly Holt, Amanda Jass, and Chelsea Ritchie. It has been a saving grace for me the past couple of weeks as I continue to mourn our miscarriage and prepare for another round of IVF. This passage really hit home for me today. This weekend I was talking with my husband, questioning if God was not allowing us to get pregnant because of something I'm supposed to be doing with our infertility story to help others first. Questions keep coming to mind: are fertility treatments really that of God? Should we be going through IVF again (since we've had 2 failed FETs with 4 embryos and 1 miscarriage, but 1 beautiful, perfect baby boy)? Should I start a support group, a blog, a side business helping those with infertility first? My husband reminded me that God is NOT punishing us and doesn't provide a reward of a pregnancy or baby once you've "checked off everything from the checklist". Jesus died for our sins and we were given the freedom to embrace life, no matter what season we are in. Actually we are commanded to be joyful throughout the Bible. So I'm going to choose to choose trust God and live a joy filled life, knowing what God sacrificed for me in order to do so--his one and only son. The next few weeks, going to appointment after appointment, injection after injection, and not knowing what the end result will be, will be stressful but God is with me every step of the way. And the same goes for you, no matter where you are in your journey. Know that God is NOT punishing you for past sins or is not waiting for you to check something off that list before he allows you your reward to become pregnant and hold that precious miracle baby. He loves you and wants the best life for you. Craig Groeschel, Lead Pastor of Life Church stated in one of his messages when referring to going through tough times in life, "Maybe it is a set up, rather than a set back." God has a plan for this season. I sure know that my season of infertility was and is for a reason. I didn't know this while going through infertility the first time 4 years ago, but I now know that God was setting me up for a deeper relationship with Him and so many more wonderful blessings that will be discussed during a later post.
"Waiting can be a beautiful time of refinement: a chance to grow closer to Jesus and for Him to change our perspective." (From In the Wait).
I often refer to infertility stories in the Bible when feeling discouraged. I encourage you to read Luke 1:6-25 to learn about Zechariah and Elizabeth's story of infertility.
Love and baby blessings! ❤️