IVF Day 9...Different This Time
Sunday morning, I'm waiting for an hour and half in the infertility clinics waiting room for lab work and ultrasound. I'm surrounded by other girls and some of their husbands who are here for the same reason as I am. I reminisce back to the first time we went through IVF. This time is much different, still hard but different. Maybe that's because at the end of the day I know I have a precious little boy to snuggle at home and if we can't give him a sibling, it's going to be okay. We are blessed to have nieces and nephews that can be "cousin-siblings" as well as great friends who have several kids running around who can be "friend-siblings". It's different because before I was naive, thinking if we go through IVF and we have "extra embryos", we could have multiple kids. I didn't put much thought into failed transfers or never did I think that we would transfer, get pregnant, but then have a miscarriage. I didn't know the feeling of injection after injection and didn't realize that those progesterone injections continue even after you get pregnant, if you get pregnant, until you are 12 weeks along. I do miss that innocence and ignorance. But all that being said I believe the biggest difference is that I am waking up each morning and choosing to trust God. I am starting my day being in His word and reading a bible study devotion throughout the day, called "In the Wait". When thoughts of doubt arise, which they do throughout the day several times, I pray to stomp down the devil who is prying my heart and my mind to go the wrong way. I know God has a bigger and better plan for my life, for Justin's life, and for Grady's than we can ever imagine. Isaiah 55:8-9 "My thoughts are nothing like your thoughts", says the Lord. "And my ways are far beyond anything you could imagine. For just as the heavens are higher than the earth, so my ways are higher than your ways and my thoughts are higher than your thoughts."
You see, we can't even begin to imagine what God has in store for us. There are bumps and curvy roads along the way and it may look different than what you envisioned, but keep your focus on Him and you are guaranteed to have the best life imaginable.
This is the view from my walk this morning before getting ready for this appointment. It was foggy, just like this season I'm in right now. But as I continued walking down that road the light showed through the fog and kept getting brighter and more beautiful. Keep your head up sweet friend and keep persevering, there is a beautiful light and life ahead of you too.
Love and baby blessings ❤️